Has everyone heard the story about the Nutella heist? Time out. Before we go any further, can we all just agree that it is pronounced “nootella?” Because this is a very touchy subject for me, and I refuse to back down. I don’t know why I get so riled up about this particular subject, but I do. Anyway, I thought this story was both hilarious and seriously depressing. I wish I had thought to steal a lifetime supply of happiness like whoever this guy was. Actually, I would have gone bigger because I’m not sure 5.5 tons of Nutella could get me through my lifetime. The stuff is like crack, so I don’t know what this judgmental society is to expect of me when I try to buy it in bulk. My aunt, who can keep dozens of boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer with zero temptation, can’t even keep Nutella in her house. It is a lethal substance.
Since I wasn’t smart enough to pull off a Nutella heist, I have to get mine the old fashioned way. I could buy it, yes, but I prefer to make my own. This way, I can alter the amount of hazelnuts and cocoa flavors to my liking. Personally, I kind of hate hazelnuts, so it is baffling to me how much I adore Nutella. I make my Homemade Chocolate Hazelnut Spread with a mixture of hazelnuts and almonds to balance out the flavor to my personal tastes. This spread is so easy to throw together and then it’s just waiting for you in your kitchen whenever you’re craving a spoonful. Making homemade Nutella is a lot like making nut butter. I grind the hazelnuts and almonds until they form a thick paste, then I add powdered sugar, cocoa powder, and a little vegetable oil to smooth it out. So simple and so delicious.
Homemade cocoa, almond, and hazelnut spread
Makes 1½ cups
- 1 cup whole blanched hazelnuts
- 1 cup whole blanched almonds
- 1¼ cups powdered sugar, sifted
- ? cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
- ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- ¼ teaspoon kosher salt
- 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1. Place the nuts in the bowl of a food processor and process for 4 to 5 minutes, until the nuts form a smooth paste. Add the sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, salt, and vegetable oil and process for another minute, until the mixture is smooth and spreadable. If the spread is too thick, add more oil 1 teaspoon at a time. The spread will keep in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.